I know.

Getting more sleep when you are a caregiver is hard.

There is no doubt about it.

However, taking care of yourself as a caregiver is crucial if you are going to provide the very best care to your loved ones.

Care-giving is stressful.

A good night’s sleep helps to reduce that stress.

In today’s post, I will give you some pointers on how you can get some more sleep so you can be in tip-top shape to take care of your loved ones.

How to get more sleep when you are a caregiver.

1-Sleep early

This is always a hard one when you are a caregiver but with a little bit of planning, it can be done.

Going to bed early requires intention.

This means, you might have to cut out Netflix shows during the week. The good news is that you could catch up on these on the weekend.

Going to bed early will require that dinner is also ready earlier on in the evening.

You can prepare for this by prepping your dinner-time meals the day before.

Dinner prep the day before could be as simple as taking out the chicken from the freezer and thawing it out in the fridge.

Putting plans in place this way make for a smoother evening and increases the likelihood that you will get to bed early.

2-Remove electronic devices from your bedroom

Electronic devices disrupt our sleep.

Yet 99% of respondents in a research study reported that they use an electronic device an hour before they go to bed.

Using electronic devices right before bed does two major things.

1. It delays your body’s internal clock-your circadian rhythm. Your internal clock gets “confused” because you are giving it information that there is still “light” when it is in fact night and you should be falling asleep.
2. As a result of the above point, melatonin, a hormone in your body which induces sleep is not produced and you have trouble falling asleep.

This is why putting your cell phones, tablets and television away at least an hour before you go to bed is helpful if you want to fall asleep.

If you are a big reader and tend to read your books on your electronic device, an alternative might be that you read a regular book under a soft reading lamp.

3-Develop a night-time routine

Developing a night-time routine before you go to bed is another way to prepare your body to get a good night’s sleep.

Here are a few ideas for creating a bed-time routine.

• Turn off all electronic devices.
• Spend 10 to 15 minutes laying out clothes for you and your loved ones for the following day.
• Ask your loved one(s) if they need anything as you wind down for the night. Telling people you are winding down for the night sets the tone and expectation that the day is ending. This is helpful if you want to get more sleep.
• Wash your face
• Brush your teeth
• Put on your pajamas
• Turn off all lights except for night lights to help your loved ones stay safe if they wake up at night
• Use soft lighting in your bedroom especially if you need to read

Creating a simple night time routine and performing that regularly, tells your brain that you are ready to go to sleep.

And this means you will rest better.

Did you find this post helpful?

Consider sharing it with someone else who is looking to improve their sleep patterns as a caregiver.

 

If you have lived life for longer than 10 seconds, then you know that there are events that change your life forever.

Some of those events are subtle-like passing from your teens into your twenties.

And others are dramatic, like having your first child.

Whatever the case is, and no matter the technology, the one thing we can be sure will never change, is change itself.

Life changes when you decide to become a caregiver for your parents.

These are the people who took care of you.

You love them.

You might have a complicated relationship with them.

How do you navigate these life changes? How do you deal with them?

Well, first of all, I celebrate you if you have taken that step to care for your parents.

It is not an easy task to take on.

But you are doing this thing and thriving at it.

Go you!

How to deal with life changes that come with taking care of your parents.

Monetary changes

Taking care of your parents will take money no matter how you slice it.

Hiring extra caregivers to help, to paying for medical supplies to simple day-to-day upkeep.

Things get expensive and quickly.

Thus, it is important to have this conversation with your parent so that the money side of things can be handled as smoothly as possible.

If they do have some money that can be used, make sure you are transparent with them about how the money is being used.

There are many horror stories of how children squander the money of their aging parents.

And at the risk of sounding preachy, I will say this: don’t let this be you.

One of the ways to prevent this from happening is to involve an unbiased party.

A fiduciary is an unbiased party who can help your parents manage their money.

Moving in with you

Moving in with your parents is another change that can introduce tension.

Here are some pointers for dealing with that.

• Make sure other members of your household; your spouse and children; are properly informed of this change. Let them know what they can expect now that grandma/grandpa/in-law is moving in with you.
• Educate yourself on any medical condition that may apply to your loved one. For instance, if they have dementia, it is important that you realize that they might go through extreme mod swings or that they will need helping orienting to your home during their first few weeks or even months there.
• Make sure your home is safe for your parent.
• You have changed. So has your mom or dad. Learning to accept any changes you see will ensure a safe transition.
• Talk about your own emotions with a therapist if you need to.

Care-giving is hard. Ask for help when you need it.

Care-giving has always been hard.

Whether it is for a young child or your parent.

It is normal to get burned out and tired.

Don’t just “push through” at this point.

Seek help. Talk to a counselor. Get friends and family to help you with tasks they can pick up.

When you are able to take care of yourself as a caregiver, you become a more effective caregiver.

Click here to read this post for suggestions on how to take care of yourself when you’re a caregiver.

 

Was this post helpful? Consider sharing it with someone else who is gearing up to take care of their parents for the first time.

 

 

Dealing with difficult parents.

You probably have heard this before: that there is no real manual for parenting.

The opposite is true as well: there is no manual for dealing with difficult parents.

And yet, at some point in life, as an adult child, you may come to a place where you have to make decisions on behalf of a difficult parent.

How do you navigate those waters?

Even though I don’t claim to know it all, in this post, I will share some tips on how to do just that.

Dealing with difficult parents

• When you’re dealing with a difficult person, they may not enjoy you telling them that they are wrong. In fact, I can say without a doubt that difficult people DO NOT like being told they are wrong. Instead of yelling “You are wrong!” and stomping out of the room, consider the following instead.
  • Include them in the discussion when it is time to make a decision. Ask for their opinion throughout the conversation.
  • Respect their opinion even though you may think it is wrong. Say something like “Dad/Mom, I am glad you brought that up” or “that is a very valid point”.
  • Even if you cannot include all of their ideas in a decision that is being made, include elements of their ideas.
  • If you have to make a decision that goes completely against what they have communicated, make sure the decision being made is in fact in their best interest. Break the news to them in a respectful but firm voice. They may argue at first, but when it is communicated the right way, you increase the chance that they will agree to it.

 

• Include someone they respect in the conversation. Your parent is bound to have someone they respect and listen to. Sometimes it might be a sibling of yours, a clergyman or an old friend. Where appropriate, include these people in the decisions leading up to the decision-making.

 

• Ask them what their fears are. Sometimes people are difficult because they are afraid of the unknown. If you can have an honest conversation with such people, they can open up and discuss what it causing them to be afraid. Once you uncover these fears, this is a good avenue to allay those via conversation.

Remember to take care of yourself as well

• Take care of yourself. In dealing with a difficult parent, it is important to take care of your own mental health. You cannot treat people with care and compassion if you’re not providing care and compassion to yourself. Talk to a mental health care provider, join support groups and get all the help you can get so you can better help people around you.

 

• Create boundaries. As much as you love your parents, it is important to create boundaries so that difficult parents don’t have a negative impact on you, your spouse and children. If a decision will cause too much tension in the family, it might be necessary to let the issue go but still create boundaries so that everyone involved is protected. Toxic family relationships have done more harm than good throughout history.

Have you had to deal with a difficult parent?

How did you cope?

What tools did you use to navigate these waters?

If you found this post helpful, share it with someone else who might be dealing with difficult parents.

It is not easy to watch your loved one go through memory loss.

If you’re a family caregiver, chances are that you’ve know this person your whole life.

This is hard. And understandably so. None of this comes with a manual.

How can you help a loved one going through memory loss?

In today’s post, we will go over ways to help a loved one going through memory loss.

I will also touch on tips to help you deal with your emotions as a caregiver as you walk through this season.

How to help a loved one going through memory loss

Not all memory loss is related to Alzheimer’s Disease

First of all, it’s important to note that not all memory loss is related to Alzheimer’s Disease.

There are a number of medical conditions that lead to memory loss.

These include tumors or infections in the brain, a blood clot in the brain, emotional stress and mental health issues.

To be certain that none of these medical conditions are causing memory loss, talk to your loved one’s doctor.

It is better to treat a condition when the exact cause is found.

Have a frank conversation

Do you notice that your loved one is increasingly making bad decisions or judgments because of their forgetfulness?

If your loved one is still able to understand and have a conversation, you might want to sit down with them and discuss what the options are for their care and safety.

We don’t want forgetfulness to be the reason they get into a car accident, for instance.

Identify tasks that have become harder and provide support

Which tasks have become harder for your loved one to complete?

If they have forgotten how to put on their shirt or tie their shoelaces, you can provide more support here.

Or you can tell hired home caregivers  to focus on those areas during the day.

Encourage medications

One of the most difficult things to do for a loved one going through memory loss is getting them to take their medicine.

Nobody loves medicine.

So it makes sense that your loved one will refuse it.

However, if it is important that they continue to take this medication, there are a few things you can do.

• Crush medications and mix them with a soft food item such as apple sauce or yogurt. This doesn’t apply if the drug is an “extended release” drug that is only supposed to released inside the body.
• Ask your doctor if there are other ways for your loved one to receive the medication other than in pill form.
• Sometimes, if they have forgotten to take their medicine, it might be simple enough to just remind them that “this is good for your health so let’s take it real quick”.

Play games that improve memory

Games that allow your elderly loved one to think or memorize facts are great for improving brain health.

A study published by the American Society for Geriatrics in 2014 showed that when elders train their minds through thinking and memory games, they are able to improve their cognitive abilities and remain sharper for 10 more years!

They also found that the group that played these memory games were better at performing activities of daily living such as bathing and dressing up.

Sudoku, Scrabble and crossword puzzles are just a few examples of games that keep the brain healthy.

These types of games are easy to buy at your local store.

You will also find a giant library of games on the AARP website.

Encourage foods that improve brain health

People who eat a diet that is high in protein, high in good fats and moderate carbohydrates report feeling sharper and more alert than people on a high carbohydrate diet.

Foods high in protein include eggs, meat, fish, beans, lentils and peas.

Vitamin D and Vitamin B12 are also important for brain health.

Help them set up a safe home environment

Falls are among the top causes of death and injury for seniors.

Keeping the house safe involves time and effort but it will reduce the risk of falls for a forgetful seniors.

A few ways you can improve safety around the house include:

• Tape down or remove area rugs to avoid tripping over them.
• Keep the floors as dry as possible.
• If you have a 2-story home, you and your loved one may want to consider a stair-lift. This will help them get up and down the stairs easier.
• Lighting should be adequate. At night, keep night lights on so that your elderly loved one can see where they are going.
• In the bathroom, using bathmats to add friction or shower cares for those with mobility issues will also reduce the risk of falls.

To read about 21 tips on keeping your senior safe at home, read this post.

Use visual prompts around the house

It might not be easy to help them recollect everything, but as a caregiver, you can use visual prompts to remind your loved one of things.

For instance, you might keep birthday, doctor, dentist appointments, etc., written on a large board in an accessible hallway of the house.

You might set an alarm that reminds them to take their medicine.

Visual reminders are helpful also for hired home caregivers who may not know everything about your loved one.

Consider your own emotions as well

Last but not least, it is important to consider your own emotions as a caregiver.

Dealing with these types of changes in a loved one you’ve known your whole life is difficult.

I highly recommend that you speak with a mental health professional about any emotional difficulties you might be facing.

There are so many ways to take care of yourself as a caregiver so that you can provide the best care to your loved one.

To read more on self-care for caregivers, read the following posts.

5 self-care tips for the family caregiver

7 ways to relieve stress as a caregiver

Caregiver self-care-7 ways to take care of your emotional health as a caregiver.

 

Caregiver stress is real! And that stress can take a toll on you. Stress can lead to feeling constantly overwhelmed or worried. Unfortunately, it can lead to depression, and even drug or alcohol abuse. Physical problems like headaches and body pains can also result from too much stress.

To avoid all the negative side effects of stress, you must learn to manage it. 

In this post, we will go over 7 stress relief ideas for caregivers.

7 stress relief ideas for caregivers

Finding time to relieve stress as a caregiver isn’t always easy. That’s why this list includes several ways to reduce your stress in just a couple of minutes. Pick out a couple of your favorites, and purposefully integrate them into your day.  

1. Take deep breaths

Oxygen is key to stress reduction. By concentrating on your breathing, and taking several deep breaths, you can get more oxygen into your blood.

When you feel yourself stressing out, take some time to breathe. Inhale through your nose until your lungs are filled with air. Hold it for a moment or two. Then slowly exhale through your mouth.

Repeat this exercise several times in a row for maximum benefit.

2. Meditate

With just a couple of minutes of meditation a day, you can lower your stress. Meditation can also lower your blood pressure and improve your concentration. It’s a great habit to get into.

You can start by simply sitting in a comfortable position and clearing your mind. There are several different methods of meditation, so find one that works for you and regularly practice.

3. Get moving

Exercise gets your endorphins pumping.  These feel-good neurotransmitters help relieve stress.

Incorporate more movement into your day. Take a brisk walk around the house. Jump rope for a few minutes. Do an exercise video.

Find an activity you enjoy and do it several times a week.

4. Go outside

Fresh air is calming. Studies found that being outside helps relieve anxiety and stress.

Sit outside and drink your morning coffee. Take a quick walk through the neighborhood. Spend some unplugged time outside each day, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

5. Put on some music

You can listen to music while you complete your day-to-day activities, making it an easy way to reduce your stress levels. Use your phone to create playlists full of music you love.

When you are really feeling stressed, classical music can help. There’s something calming about listening to the soothing sounds.

6. Count your blessings

Taking a few minutes each day to focus on what you do have can help improve your mental outlook. Gratitude helps lower stress.

You can express gratitude in a variety of ways. Try:

• Writing a thank you note to someone
• Creating a list of things you’re grateful for
• Making a “gratitude jar” and add a slip of paper with a new blessing every day
• Looking around the room and naming as many things you’re thankful for as possible
• Creating a gratitude collage and hanging it up where you can reflect on it
• Thinking about someone you’re thankful for
• Saying thank you more often

 

Being grateful helps you focus on the positive, which is beneficial.

7. Journal your thoughts

Don’t keep your thoughts and feelings bottled up inside yourself. Regularly take time to write them out. The act of journaling has been shown to reduce stress.

A journal is a place where you can process the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of caregiver. You can keep a digital journal, or a physical one with pen and paper.

Think about which style works best for you personally and get started. Remember this isn’t an assignment for school. Don’t worry about your grammar, spelling, or handwriting. Just release your thoughts as you write.

Take care of yourself

As a caregiver, you must take time to reduce your stress. It’s so easy to get caught up in taking care of someone else that you forget about you. Don’t do that! You must take care of your stress so you can continue providing care.

Do you know someone who is struggling to manage their stress as a caregiver? Please share this article with them.

 

How can I help my friend who is a caregiver? 

Perhaps you’ve asked yourself this question. Perhaps, you have even asked your friend directly.

Caregivers’ minds are full. They’re juggling their own responsibilities, plus taking care of someone else. It’s a lot to think about.

When your brain is on overdrive, answering questions is hard. Especially tough ones like, “What can I do to help?”

The caregiver must give thought to what they need help with. But they also must decide what you’re willing and able to do. They also may feel guilty asking for help.

This means your answer will likely be nothing.   

But nothing could be further from the truth. Caregivers need help.

10 ways you can help your friend who is a caregiver

Instead of asking your friend who is caring for their older parents what you can do to help, just pick one of the items below and jump in.

Make a list

Sit down together and brainstorm things she’d like to have help with. Sometimes this conversation takes some prompting to get the ball rolling.

Start with the practical things and move on from there. Tasks like laundry, picking up groceries, driving the parent to a doctor appointment, picking kids up from school, and making dinner could all go on the list.

Add as many as possible. Then your friend will have an answer whenever someone asks how they can help. Better yet, type up the list and email it to your friend’s friends and family members.

Deliver food

Bring your friend a freezer friendly meal once a month (or more frequently!) If you’re at the store, call and ask what you can pick up. Then make a quick stop to deliver it.

Cover a shift

Cover a care taking shift so your friend can get away some respite. Let your friend explain everything that’s involved and reassure her you’ll call if needed.

Share helpful resources

Many resources are available for caregivers. But the research to find those can be overwhelming.

Take time to research on your friend’s behalf. Look into government funded programs in your state. Research the specific condition your friend’s parent has and see if there are any organizations that help.

Learn what you can and share it with your friend without being a know-it-all. Also, write down everything so it doesn’t have to be remembered.   

Communicate

Providing updates grows weary, so offer to help spread the word. Pick a form of communication and provide regular updates as you have them. This way your friend isn’t inundated with requests for information. You can update via:

• Phone trees
• Email lists
• A private Facebook Group
• Instant Messaging apps

Be a listening ear

Sometimes caregivers just need to vent. They get frustrated, scared, and annoyed. But these feelings often bring guilt as well.

Let them share the good, the bad, and the ugly with you. Be a listening ear and provide encouragement without judgement.

Care for the pets

With the added responsibility of elder care, pets can sometimes feel neglected. If your friend has a pet, come by and give them some love.

Take note of what brand of pet food they use, and bring some by. During hospitalizations, offer to take the pet home until life settles down.

Complete outdoor duties

Peek around your friend’s yard and mentally note what they need help with. Then do it.

Come over one Saturday and mow the lawn. Rake the leaves in the fall. Shovel snow in the winter.

Weed the flower bed. Harvest the garden and help put up the bounty.

Run errands

Getting out of the house when you’re caring for an elderly parent is difficult. Help your friend out by running some errands. Try:

• Picking up the mail
• Washing the car
• Handling an oil change
• Refilling prescriptions
• Picking up and dropping off dry cleaning
• Taking animals to the vet

10. Don’t give up on them

Life changes when you start caring for your aging parent. You start turning down invitations you’d have accepted in the past. Eventually people stop asking you to do anything, and you feel like you lost all of your friends.

Don’t let your friend feel like that.

Continue to talk to her and keep her in the loop. Think of ways to include her, and never make her feel guilty when she must decline.

Someday your friend will you again, so make sure she still has a friend when that time comes. Never give up on them!

Please share this article to your other friends, so you can all support the caregivers in your lives.  

 

Prescription drug addiction in the elderly is a problem that’s on the rise.

According to the Substance Abuse Among Older Adults Study, prescription drug abuse for people over 50 will increase from around 2.8 million in 2006 to 5.7 million by 2020.

This is alarming and deserves everyone’s attention.

In this post, we will talk about what you can do to help an elderly loved one with a prescription drug addiction.

Prescription drug addiction in older adults-what you should know

The elderly are prone to prescription drug addiction for a couple of key reasons. First, they take more prescription drugs than many other age groups. The more prescription you take, the more opportunity you have to become addicted.

Also, as you age, your body doesn’t filter or absorb medication as quickly. This means the drugs are staying in the system longer, and it’s easier to become addicted.

Finally, the elderly often have memory troubles. What starts off as innocently forgetting that they took their medicine earlier can slowly pave the way to an addiction.

What prescriptions do older adults get addicted to?

While you can become addicted to any medication, two main categories of prescriptions often lead to addiction in older adults: opioids and benzodiazepines.

Opioids are pain killers. These include OxyContin, Percocet, and Vicodin. Taking too high of a dose or relying on prescription strength pain medication are common ways addiction to opioids begin.

Benzodiazepines treat anxiety and insomnia. Valium, Xanax, and Ativan are all benzodiazepines. Taking these drugs for an extended period of time can lead to addiction.

What are signs of prescription drug addiction in older adults?

If your loved one takes prescription medication regularly, it’s possible for them to become addicted. As a caregiver, you need to know what to watch for.

The following are all signs and symptoms of an addiction:

• Mood changes, including becoming more irritable or depressed
• Unexplained marks, cuts, or bruises on the body
• Changes in energy levels, especially lethargy
• Personality changes, including becoming angry
• Staying up all night and sleeping all day
• Having two different doctors write a prescription for the same medication
• Appearing forgetful or confused, including losing track of time
• Sneaking medication
• Going to more than one pharmacy for prescriptions
• Keeping extra medication in a pocket or purse
• Obsessed with talking about a certain medication
• Not following directions for taking medication
• Have a history of drug abuse or addiction
• Regularly taking medication with alcohol
• Getting upset if asked about medication use

Many of these symptoms are also related to aging. This makes identifying an addiction problem a challenge.

What to do if you suspect an addiction

If your loved one has many of the symptoms above, and you suspect an addiction, it’s essential to speak to their doctor. An evaluation can help the doctor determine if there is an addiction.

You can also contact a drug addiction treatment center to help your loved one get the necessary treatment.

What does treatment entail?

Your loved one’s treatment plan for a prescription drug addiction will be tailored to address their needs. The drug they are addicted to, how long they’ve been abusing the medication, and side-effects of withdrawal are taken into account.  

When working with your loved one’s doctor to form a treatment plan, counseling, medication, and inpatient facilities may be considered.  

Do you know a caregiver who needs to know more about prescription drug abuse in the elderly? Share this article so they can help their loved one overcome the addiction.