How to deal with life changes that come with taking care of your parents.

If you have lived life for longer than 10 seconds, then you know that there are events that change your life forever.

Some of those events are subtle-like passing from your teens into your twenties.

And others are dramatic, like having your first child.

Whatever the case is, and no matter the technology, the one thing we can be sure will never change, is change itself.

Life changes when you decide to become a caregiver for your parents.

These are the people who took care of you.

You love them.

How do you navigate these life changes? How do you deal with them?

Well, first of all, I celebrate you if you have taken that step to care for your parents.

It is not an easy task to take on.

But you are doing this thing and thriving at it.

Go you!

Taking care of your parents will take money no matter how you slice it.

Hiring extra caregivers to help, to paying for medical supplies to simple day-to-day upkeep.

Things get expensive and quickly.

Thus, it is important to have this conversation with your parent so that the money side of things can be handled as smoothly as possible.

If they do have some money that can be used, make sure you are transparent with them about how the money is being used.

There are many horror stories of how children squander the money of their aging parents.

And at the risk of sounding preachy, I will say this: don’t let this be you.

One of the ways to prevent this from happening is to involve an unbiased party.

A fiduciary is an unbiased party who can help your parents manage their money.

Moving in with your parents is another change that can introduce tension.

Here are some pointers for dealing with that.

Make sure other members of your household; your spouse and children; are properly informed of this change. Let them know what they can expect now that grandma/grandpa/in-law is moving in with you.
Educate yourself on any medical condition that may apply to your loved one. For instance, if they have dementia, it is important that you realize that they might go through extreme mod swings or that they will need helping orienting to your home during their first few weeks or even months there.
Make sure your home is safe for your parent.
You have changed. So has your mom or dad. Learning to accept any changes you see will ensure a safe transition.
Talk about your own emotions with a therapist if you need to.

Care-giving has always been hard.

Whether it is for a young child or your parent.

It is normal to get burned out and tired.

Don’t just “push through” at this point.

Seek help. Talk to a counselor. Get friends and family to help you with tasks they can pick up.

When you are able to take care of yourself as a caregiver, you become a more effective caregiver.

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