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Is it possible to find joy in the midst of care-giving?

If you’re reading this and you’re a caregiver, I just want to remind you of this fact: you’re a hero!

What you have to do every day to care for your loved ones is not an easy feat.

Yet, you wake up each day and do it like a champ.

We’ve talked on this blog a lot about the importance of taking care of yourself as a caregiver.

In fact, the evidence is clear that when you take better care of yourself as a caregiver, you’re more likely to provide better care.

But how exactly do you find joy in the midst of caring for your loved one? Especially when they have a difficult diagnosis?

Perhaps you’re dealing with a dementia or Alzheimer’s diagnosis.

Perhaps it’s some other disease that has been classified as terminal.

How in the world do you find joy in that?

In today’s post, we look at some ways you could find joy in the midst of caring for your loved one with a difficult diagnosis.

Finding joy in the midst of care-giving

You cannot find the good if you just ignore the bad

When a loved one is given a difficult diagnosis, it is part of the grieving process to deny that you’re sad; especially in the beginning.

During this time, you might dedicate all your energy to making plans to take care of your loved one.

It might also be a season where you are learning a lot about the new diagnosis and how you can support your loved one.

In fact, you may be so engrossed in trying to be the best care-giver, that you forget that your emotions are taking a severe hit.

Don’t ignore how you feel.

Allow yourself to grieve.

Giving yourself space to recognize your feelings, document them and process them is the first step finding joy in the midst of caring for your loved one.

This may also mean admitting to yourself that you need to speak to a mental health professional.

Find a support community

There are hundreds and in many cases, thousands of people who are dealing with the same scenario you’re dealing with.

Usually, a health case worker for your loved one or your doctor may have some information on local support groups that you can be a part of.

You will learn a lot of caring techniques others have been successful with.

A support community will also help you navigate the emotions you’re feeling more effectively.

And you won’t feel so alone on your journey when you know that there are others walking the same path as you.

Take time to do things you enjoy

You probably laughed at that headline because you’re thinking, “what time, Gertrude?”

I get it.

If you’re a full-time worker and a full-time care-giver, it can be hard to find any time for yourself.

This is where we can get creative.

Here’s a tip – make it a part of your care-giving routine.

For instance, if you love to read but haven’t had the time for it because you’re care-giving, you could make reading a book to your loved one a part of your routine.

Your loved one will enjoy your company and the chance to participate in an activity.

And you will get to enjoy your reading – even if it’s just for a few minutes.

Care-giving is hard. Finding joy in the midst of it is hard.

But the 3 things we discussed above will go a long way to helping you find joy in the midst of care-giving.

Need volunteering ideas for retired people? You’ll love these.

Your contribution to society didn’t end with your retirement party.

Volunteering is a wonderful way to break up the monotony of your day. And it’s a powerful way to keep your mind engaged.

In fact, I know that you are reading this post because you’re thinking of ways to volunteer and need some ideas.

You’re in the right place!

In today’s post, I will go over volunteer ideas that work for all ages. They will especially work for you if you’re recently retired.

Let’s go!

10 volunteering ideas for retired people in 2020

Volunteer at your local school

Schools are constantly looking for volunteers to help in various capacities. You could help in the classroom, on the playground, or in the dining area.

If you love children and don’t mind working with them, this is an excellent way to contribute.

Most schools will need you to apply to volunteer and also to get clearance before you would be allowed to volunteer.

Special needs volunteer at local facilities

Various people with special needs – young and old – receive services in the community and sometimes the truth is that, resources are stretched.

If you volunteer at these facilities, it will benefit both of you.

Nursing home volunteering

Perhaps a nursing home is not in your future but you would like to interact with older adults and help them thrive in a nursing home?

This is an excellent volunteer opportunity for retirees as well.

Soup kitchen/food pantry volunteer

Is it just me or do you just feel good about yourself when you help others?

One of the most powerful volunteering opportunities I’ve ever participated in has involved giving food to people.

Soup kitchens and food pantries typically rely on the goodwill of other people to run smoothly.

You might be one of those good people.

Hospital volunteering

You can volunteer at a local hospital in many capacities.

Reading books to sick children and delivering hospital bedding to floors was something I saw volunteers do all the time when I practiced nursing.

You can find out more about volunteering at your local hospital by walking into the hospital or by going onto their website.

Volunteer with relief organizations

Relief organizations also depend heavily on volunteers like you.

If you are a retired medical professional, you can get involved in groups like Doctors without Borders or Nurses without Borders or the Red Cross.

Church and religious organizations routinely organize groups that travel to areas hit by disasters to help out the affected communities.

This is something to look out for as well.

Volunteer at youth centers

Youth centers around the country are looking for mentors to help children with homework and to keep them in a safe environment.

These places also depend on volunteers and goodwill to keep running.

Teach career skills

You thrived in your career and now there are thousands of young people who want to thrive in their careers like you.

This is a golden opportunity to share the secrets of your success with the generations after you.

College career centers, youth centers and church organizations are all places to consider as places to teach your skills.

Have a unique skill-set that is in high demand? Even better!

Once you find the right place to volunteer, people will be willing to learn everything they can from you.

Community clean up volunteer

You’ve lived in your community for years and love it.

You can contribute to it as a community clean up volunteer.

Be a companion

You’d be surprised to know that there are people in your community who need your companionship.

These could be other retired people, people on bed-rest with a chronic illness or even people who have just had a baby.

This could be a great way to volunteer as well.

There you have it.

10 volunteering ideas for retired people.

Did any of these resonate with you?

Do you know someone who is retired and itching to volunteer?

Share this post with them.

What causes thick toenails in the elderly?

You’ve noticed that mom’s nails have grown thicker, yellow and difficult to cut.

They have kept up with their personal hygiene on a daily basis.

They are taking their medications regularly, so what is the problem?

The truth is that older people are at risk of developing nail changes as part of the aging process.

A dampening in the immune system of elderly people and other age related disorders can all contribute to the thick toenails in the elderly.

Thickened nails usually seem harmless at first. However, in some cases, if they’re left untreated, it could affect the surrounding skin and cause pain.

If these problems advance, they could even impair your loved one’s movements.

In today’s post, we will look at the causes of thickened nails in the elderly and what you can do to treat or reduce the chances of the condition.

What causes thick toenails in the elderly?

Reduced blood flow to the toenails.

Although scientists don’t completely understand why, as people age, blood flow to the furthest parts of the body such as the fingernails and toenails becomes reduces. With this reduction, it means less oxygen is able to reach the toenails. This can lead to thickened and discolored nails.

Psoriasis

Psoriasis is an autoimmune condition that affects the skin. If your loved one has psoriasis, the chances that their nails become thick also increase.

Age-related changes in nail turnover

Regularly, our nails “turnover” or new nail tissue forms to replace the old.

As people get older, the rate at which this happens slows down.

Because of this slow nail turnover, you can have thickening in the toenails.

Fungal infections can cause thick toenails in the elderly

A fungal infection may also be responsible for thick toenails in your loved one.

Fungi thrive in warm and moist areas of the skin.

Improper foot and nail care can lead to these fungal infection developing and therefore causing thick nails.

Footwear that is too tight, feet that are not cleaned properly after a bath, diabetes and reduced blood flow are all precursors to an infection that thickens the nails.

Injury

Injuries can also cause thick toenails in the elderly.

Smoking

Smoking can also cause thickened toenails.

What you can do to help your elderly loved one with thick toenails

So what can you do as a caregiver to help your elderly loved one who has thick toenails?

First of all, I recommend that you see a podiatrist or a dermatologist.

A podiatrist is a trained medical professional who diagnoses and treats diseases of feet and lower limbs.

A dermatologist is a trained doctor who specializes in diseases and conditions of the skin, hair and nails.

Talk to them.

A podiatrist will be able to diagnose what the problem is (if there is an underlying health problem) and prescribe any medication that is needed.

Apart from this, there are things you can do on a daily basis to keep thick nails at bay.

Daily movements to help with blood flow. Like I mentioned above, reduced blood flow to the toenails can cause thick toenails. Helping your elderly get at least 30 minutes of movement throughout the day can help with circulation immensely.
Shoes and socks that fit properly are a must. The right shoes and socks can make a lot of difference when it comes to blood circulation.
Help your loved one dry their feet completely after a bath.
Make sure to cut their nails properly.
The right diet is also important.

Closing thoughts

While thick nails may not be completely avoidable in some cases, it’s possible to reduce how much they occur and their effects on your elderly loved one.

Did you find this post helpful?

Consider sharing it with a caregiver friend who is looking for solutions for thick nails in their elderly loved one.

Music therapy for your elderly loved one: how could it help them thrive and age in place?

While listening to music on your own is wonderful, this is not the same as music therapy.

Music therapy is an established health profession in which the therapist uses music to help a person address any physical, emotional, cognitive and social needs.

A music therapist is trained in music therapy and uses it for the well-being of individuals.

You can find them at hospitals, nursing homes, adult day care centers or by calling your nearest healthcare facility and asking about music therapy services.

What are the benefits of music therapy?

There is research that shows that:

Music therapy can reduce anxiety and stress and the effects of these.
Music therapy can improve healing.
If you have a loved one with Alzheimer’s Disease or dementia, music therapy can help them.
It reduces the symptoms of depression.
Music therapy helps with other psychological disorders as well.
Have a loved one struggling with communication? Music therapy can help them communicate better.
Music therapy improves a person’s motivation to become engaged in their treatment.
It can provide an outlet for people to express their feelings and improve communication.
This can be a way to support clients and their families emotionally.

What does music do to the brain?

Music stimulates the brain in ways that other things don’t.

Music has the power to affect a person’s memory and learning.

There have been studies that show that playing music in the background while people learn, helps them remember the information better.

And have you noticed you never forget nursery rhymes that taught you a lesson about life or science?

I learned a song for the names of the planets in our galaxy when I was 10 or 11. To this day, I’m able to recall all the names of the planets simply by singing that song.

Music has a powerful effect on our brains and simple scenarios like the ones I’ve described above demonstrate that.

With music therapy draws on this power to help individuals improve their overall well-being and health.

Who can benefit from music therapy?

Music therapy can benefit your older loved one who has dementia, Alzheimer’s Disease or one who suffers from chronic pain.

Research results and clinical experiences have shown music therapy to be especially helpful to elderly clients who haven’t responded to other types of treatments.

Because of the power of music on the brain-an organ that is affected when a person has dementia or Alzheimer’s Disease-music therapists can draw on this to help your elderly loved one.

So how can a music therapist help my elderly loved one?

A qualified music therapist will assess the needs of your loved one as a first step.

Once they’re able to determine your loved one’s strengths, and specific needs, they come up with an individualized plan for your loved one. This treatment plan will have goals as well as the techniques they will used to help your loved one.

A music therapist may:

compose music with your elderly loved one
accompany your loved one to a musical experience
or provide instruction on how to play an instrument

The specific music therapy techniques will depend on their initial and on-going assessments so it will not look the same for everyone.

If your loved one has Alzheimer’s Disease, dementia or is a chronic pain sufferer, talk to your doctor about a music therapy option.

It could be a way to improve things for your loved one, and possibly, your whole family.

If you’ve had a loved one who has dementia or Alzheimer’s Disease, then you have probably come across advertisements for brain health supplements.

And even if you don’t have a loved one with any such condition, chances are you have seen those types of ads on late night television.

Is there any truth to it?

Are these brain supplements any good for you?

Can they prevent or cure conditions like dementia?

In today’s post, we’ll explore these questions.

Are brain health supplements good for you?

It can be reassuring when someone tells you they have the cure for a devastating condition.

However, as of this writing, even though there are medications that can deal with some symptoms of Alzheimer’s, none of those drugs cure the disease.

Researchers have received millions of dollars to study these drugs but so far, one thing we’re sure of is that none of them can cure.

Now let’s talk about brain health supplements.

Most supplements in the United States do not have a lot of research behind them.

This also means that these supplements are not approved for what their manufacturers claim they can cure.

And this is where we have to be careful.

These supplements may very well do what they are marketed to do.

However, because they are not regulated, they could contain chemicals that could be downright dangerous.

So be cautious.

The FDA takes action against companies selling supplements said to cure or treat Alzheimer’s

In February of 2019, the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) posted 12 warning letters and 5 advisory letters that they had written to foreign and local companies.

These companies were illegally selling as many as 58 supplements that claimed to prevent, cure or treat Alzheimer’s Disease.

Again, while some of these could have a benefit, nobody knows their effect either in the short-term or the long-term.

And so the FDA had to put a cap on it before it became a safety problem.

It’s important as a caregiver or consumer that you do your research and are not swept up by the claims of some of these companies who clearly do what they’re doing to make a profit.

So are brain health supplements bad for you?

At this point, nobody can give a definitive answer because nobody knows.

So do your diligence before buying any such supplements.

Is your elderly loved one using a walker?

In this post, I will go over 7 walker safety tips to ensure that your loved one is getting the best use of of their walker while staying safe.

Walker safety for the elderly

Make sure the walker is the right fit for needs and height

As a caregiver, it is important to ensure your loved one’s walker fits their needs and height.

Not having the right type of walker or having one that is not right for your height can cause pain in the wrists, in your back and opens your loved one up to injury.

So make sure to talk to a healthcare provider so that you get the right one.

Get a foldable walker.

A foldable walker is helpful because you will be able to pack it up into the car.

At night, if you want to keep it out of the way, it is easy to do so with a foldable walker as well.

Keep it out of the way at night (but accessible)

To prevent falls, it is important that you keep the walker out of the way for your loved one at night.

For older adults, a simple fall can lead to broken bones, a concussion or even death. Thus it’s always to keep “fall hazards” out of the way.

And for your loved one, leaving a walker in the way during the night could prove to be a fall hazard.

At the same time, it’s important for you to place the walker in an accessible spot so that when your loved one does wake up at night, they can grab the walker easily and transport themselves.

Use the walker properly on a staircase or steps

Climbing the stairs is inevitable.

Most places will have an accessible ramp that makes it easier for people using a walker.

But this is not always the case.

Here’s a video on how to climb the stairs with a walker.

The right footwear

It’s important to wear the right kind of shoes when using a walker.

Flat shoes with a firm grip on the bottom are the best choice to shoes to wear with a walker and prevent injury.

Remove any other fall hazards from the path of your loved one

Frayed rugs, wires that crisscross and other objects in the way of your loved one’s walker can pose an unsafe situation.

Make sure all of these are kept of out the path of your loved one.

Report any discomfort to your doctor

Is your loved one experiencing pain in their legs, arms or back when they use their walker?

Talk to your doctor about it so the right adjustments are made.

Found this post on walker safety for the elderly helpful?

Consider sharing it with someone else.

Although the holidays should be a happy time of the year, this is the time of the year when people are most stressed.

The causes for this stress vary.

Maybe money was tight this year and you can’t get people the gifts you had hoped to get them.

Or perhaps you dread seeing a difficult family member.

Whatever the case, the stress is real and if it is left unchecked, it could affect everything else.

The good news: you don’t have to dread your holidays.

So how do you bust through holiday stress?

In this post, I outline 12 practical tips to help you deal with the end-of-year festivities.

12 practical ways to bust through holiday stress

Be realistic and come to an agreement on gifts – When money is tight, giving gifts can feel like a burden. If you’re experiencing a season of difficulty, don’t force yourself to give lavish gifts. Come to an agreement with whoever you exchange gifts with about your situation. Perhaps, you could agree to stick to gifts under between $20-$50. We promise, you will still enjoy your holidays without an expensive (read: stress-inducing) gift.
Agree to disagree – Do you have different political ideas from someone in your family? Has been this been a cause for fights during family celebrations? Agree to disagree with them. Yes, we can’t always get the other person to change their chosen side but we can agree with them that just for those few hours you’re together, nobody will bring that topic up.
Stay off social media – Social media is well-documented to make people sad. Seeing colleagues at work enjoy family dinners and outings when you’re not doing the same can be depressing. So skip out on it. Delete the app from your phone. Do whatever it takes to avoid social media so you can reduce your stress levels.
Shake up those traditions. – If you’ve had certain holiday traditions for a very long time, it can feel as if you’re just going through the motions. Shake things up a little. Instead the same old traditions, why not try something new? Do you always stay at home for Christmas? If you have the money, how about taking a trip to somewhere nice and warm?
Use your time off to reconnect with fun outdoor activities – Exercise is well-known to boost a person’s sense of well-being. Use your time off from work to enjoy (or try new) outdoor activities. Never hiked before? Go hiking. Is the weather good enough for biking? Ride your bike outside for a few hours. Play football with the family. Incorporate these fun outdoor activities to get out of the house and improve your mood.
Journal your emotions – One of the best ways to combat stress is to first admit to yourself that you’re stressed. Take a pen and paper and write down what you’re going through. Admit that there are areas of your life you’re not happy with. Becoming self-aware of your emotions increases the chances that you will do something to help you heal.
Pick up a fiction book – Pick up your favorite genre of fiction novels and enjoy away!
Saying no is okay – You don’t need to go to the tenth party in a row if you don’t feel like it. Saying no is okay. Explain that you’d like to enjoy some time alone and use that them to recuperate.
Get the sleep you need – There’s the temptation to stay up until the wee hours of the day during the holidays. This can add to your stress levels as well. Stay rested to bust through that stress!
Stick with your daily routine – A lack of a daily routine during the holiday can throw you off. Even though you may not be at work, still create some structure for your day just you’d have a work. You will fair much better and definitely reduce the stress.
Do less. Enjoy more – Around the holidays, there’s always pressure to do so much especially if you’re hosting people in your home. Can you get someone to clean your house for $25 instead of doing it all yourself? Hire them to clean up for you. Instead of cooking all your holiday meals, how about ordering some of those dishes in?
Volunteer – Volunteering is a good way to look beyond ourselves and our problems so we can impact others. It can also help with perspective-you might realize during your volunteer work that even though you have valid problems, some people have it worse.

Those are my 12 tips for busting through holiday stress.

Found this post helpful? Share it with someone else so they can reduce their holiday stress levels as well.

People who have Type 2 diabetes struggle with wound-healing.

This is because blood flow to the extremities (hands and feet) of a diabetic can become limited. In addition, the disease can damage nerves in the hands and feet. Therefore, if they sustained a wound, it is possible they would not feel it until it was too late.

Thus, even for a person who has done a good job of keeping their blood sugar in check, wound healing may be a challenge.

This can lead to serious infections that spread and ultimately lead to amputation.

There is no way you can ignore proper foot and nail care for your loved one, as a caregiver. You’ll need to learn how to care for (or help your loved one care for) their feet and nails to avoid the scenarios above.

In this post, I will share steps you can take to ensure your loved one continues to get their nail care, while reducing the probability for injury.

Foot and nail care for your elderly loved one who is diabetic

Clean the feet daily

Cleaning feet daily with a wash cloth and warm soapy water is the first step to providing foot and nail care.

If you’ll be helping them, make sure to clean in between their toes.

After washing make sure to dry their feet completely.

Bacteria and other micro-organisms thrive in areas of the body that are warm and moist.

If there is any break in the skin at all, these bacteria can enter and cause havoc.

Cut nails straight across

It’s also important to cut their nails straight across instead of curving them. A nail file is helpful here.

Ingrown toenails are a painful result of nails that curved when they are cut.

This can also lead to infections and other foot problems, especially for a diabetic.

Eat healthy

Eating the right foods in healthy proportions can help with wound healing.

Fruits and vegetables for instance are rich in Vitamin C.

Vitamin C has been known for a long time to help the body with healing.

Eating the right proportions of protein is also helpful when it comes to healing.

So help your loved one enjoy a balanced diet on a daily basis.

Exercise helps too

As I mentioned before, diabetes can lessen blood flow to the feet.

Although, one of the ways to improve blood flow to the extremities is through exercise.

Even just a simple 30-minute daily walk can be enough to get blood flowing the right way.

Talk to a doctor about foot and nail care for your loved one who is diabetic

Podiatrists are doctors who are trained in providing medical care for the feet.

I recommend that your loved one sees a podiatrist on a regular basis to receive expert care and guidance.

They can even help with cutting your loved one’s nails.

In addition to this, a medical doctor could prescribe special socks and shoes that protect your loved one’s feet.

If you have a loved one who is bedridden, a doctor may prescribe TED (Thromboembolitic Deterrent) hoses to help with blood circulation. TED hoses may look like regular pantyhose but they are effective in improving blood flow.

For a loved one who is able to walk around on their own, your doctor may prescribe compression socks to help with blood flow.

If you’ve never heard of any of these, ask your doctor about them.

Foot and nail care for your elderly loved one who is diabetic is important.

In fact, their lives could depend on it.

If you live in the Greater San Diego or Orange County area then you know we’ve been hit with some cold nights lately!

Some parts of the county have fallen to 30 degree temperatures over the last few weeks.

This is nothing compared to what our friends in the Midwest have to deal with.

Nonetheless, they are cold temperatures and if you’re caring for a loved one, there are precautions to take.

Let’s look at safety precautions you and your family should take as the weather gets colder.

4 health and safety precautions to think of as the weather gets colder

Adequate heating

Do you have enough heating in your home?

People cite cost as a reason why they may not turn on their heat.

If this is the case for you, get in touch with SDG&E (or your local electric company if you live outside San Diego county).

Gas and electric companies have special programs for the elderly and those that fall below certain income levels.

Your rates could get adjusted based on these factors so you pay an affordable rate.

You could also find out about county and government programs that could help you and your family cover heating costs.

Helping your loved one with dementia or Alzheimer’s

If you have a loved one with dementia or Alzheimer’s, you might want to put extra precautions in place in case they wander off.

A whopping 6 in 10 people with dementia will wander.

We have heard media stories about children or older adults with dementia who have died in the cold because they wandered off.

Even though we don’t have to endure harsh winters, this is something to keep in mind.

Keeping your loved one out of the cold can protect them from respiratory tract infections, for instance.

Practical tips to do this would include:

Install locks/latches at high and low points especially to protect your loved ones at night.
Help your loved one with calming language when they feel disoriented. Instead of becoming impatient with them, assure them that they’re safe.
Make sure to meet their basic needs. Your loved one may wander when a particular need -food, water, toileting-is not provided. Make sure to help them here so they don’t wander off.

Here are even more tips from the Alzheimer’s Association on how to keep your loved one from wandering.

Check on them

If you don’t live with your loved one, check on them.

Elderly adults who live alone are more likely to sustain a life-threatening injury.

You wouldn’t also know if for some reason they are unable to heat their home unless you check on them.

So check on them especially now that the weather is colder.

Pre-existing health conditions that worsen with the cold

Some people tend to get more joint pain as it gets colder.

People with any type of lung disease may also be affected by cold weather.

Make sure to check in with their doctor if there are any steps you or your loved one needs to take to prevent these episodes.

Following these health and safety precautions as the weather gets colder will ensure you enjoy an incident-free holiday.

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Mom is moving in with you.

And you know there are probably adjustments you need to make to your home to accommodate her and keep her safe.

But you’re not sure which adjustments you should make?

In today’s post, I am sharing different home adjustments you can make if you have an older loved one moving in with you.

First of all, it’s important for you to know that as people grow older, they are more likely to fall and injure themselves because of that fall.

Each year that costs millions of dollars in hospitalization costs and can become a financial burden for most families.

Thus, the suggestions I’ll be making in this post will center around keeping your aging parent safe.

Let’s get into it.

5 home adjustments to consider before mom moves in

Ramps

Does your elderly loved one uses a wheelchair or walker? Consider building a ramp to the house so it’s easier for them to come in and out of the house.

Ramps can vary in cost.

Here’s a video on how to create a simple accessible ramp.

Stair lift

If you plan on having mom in an upstairs bedroom, you might want to consider a stair lift that helps them move up and down the stairs.

Bathroom railings

People are more likely to fall in the bathroom. Life-threatening injuries can happen as a result of these falls.

Therefore, anything you can do to make your bathroom more safe is always welcome.

If your bathtub or shower doesn’t have railings, consider building 1-2 railings in the bathroom that your loved one can hold on to.

A bathroom or shower chair is another helpful piece you can have in the bathroom to prevent falls.

Night lights

We’ve all woken up at night to use the bathroom only to bump our toes painfully against the edge of the bed.

Or worse, step on a child’s toy!

These seemingly innocuous accidents could prove dangerous for a loved one.

So having night lights that come on when your loved one gets up to use the restroom is helpful.

A better lit pathway will reduce the probability of a fall.

Consider a downstairs bedroom

If trekking up and down the staircase will be a problem, you might consider building a downstairs bedroom.

This is an expensive undertaking but could be helpful for your loved one.

Found this post useful?

Share it with someone who needs to prepare before Mom (or Dad) moves in with them.

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