Caregiver stress is more common than you think.

As a family caregiver you are like a frog in a pot of water. The heat keeps rising but you stay put taking on more and more stress and responsibility.

When do you get a break as a caregiver?

Does the cycle ever end?

Caregiver Stress-The Statistics

According to the National Alliance on Caregiving and the AARP, in 2015, 43.5 million American were unpaid caregivers for their loved ones.

Sixty percent of these people were female.

Older caregivers were more likely to be retired or unemployed.

And they were actively involved in communicating with the medical and nursing teams that might be involved in the care of their loved one.

As you can already see unemployment (and hence financial difficulty), old age and the responsibility of making sure the other person is alright are just “tip of the iceberg” catalysts for caregiver stress.

Thankfully, you don’t have to navigate this alone.

The best caregivers take care of themselves.

Check out these five tips for staying sane and taking care of yourself as a caregiver.

Give yourself permission to do something for yourself

Have you ever thought you are the only person who could possibly provide your loved one with the best care?

Or felt guilty that you took an hour to enjoy something for yourself?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, chances are that you are experiencing caregiver guilt.

Caregiver guilt is an underlying reason for caregiver stress and it is important to recognize it when you begin to feel it.

It is alright to take a day off from care-giving to do something you love.

It could be:

• Enjoying the company of a friend for a few hours
• Taking a walk to the park to enjoy the outdoors
• A hike on a nearby trail
• A trip to the mall

It could be anything, really.

The point here is that you as a caregiver need to find something that gives you a relaxing outlet; something which takes your mind off your responsibilities for at least a few hours.

A relaxed mind and body will be rejuvenated and you will be able to give your loved one the best kind of care after you’ve done that for yourself.

Get help

Taking a day off your care-giving responsibilities is possible if you get help.

Do you need to hire home care assistance for a day or a few days each month?

If your insurance plan allows for it, go for it!

Research community resources

Tied into the point above, you should research community resources that allow you to take sometime to care for yourself.

So many local and state resources for the elderly go unused each year.

You might find out that there is a locally-sponsored adult day-care, opportunities for respite care- a local professional comes to your home for a few hours to relieve you of your duties.

A website that is handy when it comes to finding these types of resources is is Eldercare.gov.

Master your mental health

Mental health of caregivers is a serious topic that we don’t talk about often.

Depression and anxiety are two of the most common mental health problems among caregivers.

Just like you take care of your physical body by eating healthy foods and drinking more water, it is important to take care of your mental health.

Some common signs that you’re struggling with your mental health include:

• Loss of energy
• You lose interest in your environment: people, events, work and even everyday tasks you used to enjoy no longer excite you.
• Sadness that lasts beyond two weeks. There is legitimate grief that happens with a major loss such as a death in the family or the loss of a job. If the sadness you are experiencing lasts beyond 2 weeks and begins to interfere with your daily activities, you need to speak to someone.
• You have problems concentrating.
• Start noticing changes in your sleep pattern.
• Changes in sex drive
• Persistent thoughts of harming yourself and/or others
• The inability to handle daily problems and stress. For instance, crying over an issue that is easily solvable but which now becomes overwhelming due to the presence of a mental illness
• You begin to have thoughts of harming yourself and others.

The moment you begin to experience one or two of these symptoms that lasts more than 2 weeks, you should talk to a mental health professional

A mental health professional will be able to help you navigate your feelings and will provide you with the best course of action for your particular situation.

Mental health resources

Here are some free mental health resources you can check out.

• Check to see if your local city as a mental health department. If they do, call them up.
• Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance will help you locate local support groups for people struggling with these mental health issues.
• Daily Strength provides an online support forum for people who have thoughts of harming themselves.
• Are you or a spouse a veteran? The Veteran’s Administration has mental health resources for veterans to help them cope with different difficulties.

Manage your physical health

Last but not least, it is important to manage your physical health as a caregiver.

As we’ve established, a stressed out, tired and not to mention sick vessel cannot be of much help to anyone else.

Thus, it is essential that you are exercising on a daily basis, eating healthy food and checking in with your personal doctor often.

Exercise for instance releases a group of chemical in your brain known as endorphins.

Endorphins interact with your brain cells to provide you with a sense of well-being.

And when your mind and body are in the right place, you can indeed be the best type of caregiver for your loved one.

Closing Thoughts

Caregiver stress is real.

Never feel like you are being selfish for wanting to take care of yourself so that your loved one can in turn get the best care.

You work hard and you absolutely deserve it.

Did you find this post helpful?

Share it with someone who might be struggling with self-care as a caregiver.

When your loved one is admitted to the hospital, it is a stressful situation for you and them.

Hospitalization is sometimes unavoidable, however.

There is an event that happens when the hospitalization over that should be taken seriously.

That event is discharge planning.

In this post, I will go over why you need to take discharge planning seriously. And how you can work to create a discharge plan yo and your loved one will follow through on.

Discharge planning: Why it is so important

You should take discharge planning seriously because a proper  discharge plan and follow-through will increase the chances of your loved one staying out of the hospital.

When your loved one is hospitalized, chances are you will have to miss work which makes you less productive. Hospitalizations are also expensive and can cause financial stress. And let’s not forget hospital-acquired infections which happen just because your loved one was admitted.

Needless to say, one hospitalization is enough.

As a caregiver or family member, one of your goals after hospitalization is to keep your loved one out of the hospital as much as possible.

In fact, there is research to show that excellent planning and good follow-up can improve patientsʼ health, reduce readmission, and decrease healthcare costs.

Not all hospitals are good at discharge planning. Because of staffing issues, discharges may be done hastily. Important issues are missed when this happens.

This is why you cannot leave discharge planning entirely to hospital staff.

The truth is that while there are standards set forth by the American Medical Association and the Joint Commission on the Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO), not all hospitals follow through with these standards.

It is therefore up to you to take up the charge.

Discharge planning done right

As I said, you cannot leave discharge planning entirely to hospital staff.

As a caregiver/family member, you are most familiar with your loved one’s medical history.

This knowledge is invaluable when it comes to crafting a discharge plan that suits your loved one’s needs.

Thus, the first step to ensuring a smooth discharge panning process is to discuss the discharge plans with the medical team at the hospital.

Topics that you can discuss with the medical team at the hospital include:

• Your willingness or ability to take care of your loved one after discharge. Perhaps you have a full-time job and you will not be able to provide hands-on care after discharge. Make sure you discuss this with them. Hospitals have social workers can connect you with home care agencies who can step in.

• Your financial situation is something worth discussing with the discharge team. If you work outside the home and have to hire help, this is an additional financial cost. Social workers at the hospital can connect you with community resources you can take advantage of if money is an issue.

• Special medications or herbs that your loved one takes at home. If there are medications, natural remedies or herbs your loved one takes at home, it is important to discuss this with the discharge team. Dangerous chemical interactions can occur between a prescribed drug and a natural remedy. The last thing you want is for a serious injury or death to occur because of a dangerous drug interaction after discharge from the hospital with a prescription. Medscape has a detailed list of dangerous drug interactions you can look up here.

Special considerations during discharge planning

• If your loved one suffers from Alzheimer’s or dementia, you will need to be present for all discharge instructions. These conditions will also affect discharge instructions and so need to be discussed so that the best care suitable for your loved one is provided.

• If they underwent surgery and so have a wound that needs to be cared for, ask for clear instructions on how to do this. If possible, ask that you practice this at the hospital at least once before your loved one is sent home.

As a caregiver and family member, you are entitled to ask any questions during this time.

Don’t be shy or feel stupid about asking any questions.

A seemingly “stupid” question could save the life of your loved one.

Some of these questions you can ask include:

• Are there side effects of prescribed drugs?
• What can I expect after this surgery/treatment?
• Causes for alarm. What should I watch out for? 
• Are there any follow-up appointments? Where do we set those up?
• Can they have people visiting them starting today?
• Will we need a hospital bed at home?
• Can I get a print-out of the instructions you have just given me?
• Should we be avoiding certain foods?
• Do we need special instructions because my relative has Alzheimerʼs or memory loss?
• What is a number I can call if I have additional questions?

Asking these types of questions ensures you get tailored answers for your loved one’s situation and decreases the chances of them being readmitted.

If your loved one is being discharged from the hospital to a rehab facility, all these questions are still necessary. Getting these questions answered means that you can ensure the next facility is doing the right thing while your loved one is there.

Closing Thoughts

Discharge planning after hospitalization is important. It is best if you take the lead in ensuring the best discharge decisions are made for your loved one.

This reduces costs. It also prevents readmission.

Did you find this post useful?

Please share it with someone who is looking for direction with discharge planning for their loved one.

According to the National Council on Aging, the most common types of senior scams include:

1. Medical and health insurance scams
2. Counterfeit drugs
3. Funeral and cemetery scams
4. Fraudulent anti-aging supplements
5. Telemarketing/phone scams- fake charity calls
6. Internet scams- this includes e-mail phishing scams
7. Investment schemes
8. Homeowner/reverse mortgage scams
9. Sweepstakes/lottery scams
10. Grandparent scam- callers pretend to be a grandchild or younger relative who has fallen into an emergency

All these are especially concerning if your senior loved one lives far away from you and you don’t have the opportunity to observe or oversee interactions they may have with potential scammers.

In this post, we’ll talk about the signs of potential senior scams and how you as caregiver/child/loved one can take steps to nip it in the bud.

What you should know about senior scams (According to the FBI)

According to the FBI, scammers target seniors for the following reasons.

• Senior citizens are likely to have a “nest egg,” to own their home, and/or to have excellent credit. All of these things make them attractive to con artists.
• People who grew up in between the 1930s and 1950s were generally raised to be polite and trusting. Unfortunately, scammers exploit this because they know they are less likely to hang up on them over the phone.
• Seniors are less likely to report a scam because they don’t know who to report it to. They may also be too ashamed that they got scammed and so not report it.
• Victims of senior scams may not report crimes because they are concerned that relatives may think they no longer have the mental capacity to take care of their own financial affairs.
• Scammers know that even when a senior reports a crime, they often make poor witnesses. Con artists know the effects of age on memory, and they are counting on elderly victims not being able to supply enough detailed information to investigators.
• Seniors may realize they were scammed weeks or months after the fact. This gives the scammers more time to escape and never be caught.

• Seniors are more interested in and susceptible to products promising to boost brain function or improve any aspect of their physical health. Scammers will try to sell them health remedies that are not proven or approved by the Food and Drug Administration.

All these factors are the reasons why scammers find it so easy to dupe seniors.

How to spot a senior scam

Scammers commonly use the following tactics.

• Your senior loved one tells you that they received a phone call or letter telling them they were a winner of a lottery and that they just need to send in their bank information to claim their winnings.

• If the caller is asking for sensitive personal information, 99% of the time, a scam is afoot. Scammers will ask to receive date of birth information, addresses and bank information.

• Scammers tell seniors that the offer is “secret”. They will encourage them not to share this “secret” with anyone.

• They also provide very little written information. Essentially, if you cannot look up a company website, verify them on social media or find them in online business listings, it is very likely they are scammers. Even if they do have all these in place, it is important to be wary of all the other tactics scammers use.

• Scammers like to pressure people to act quickly or “lose the chance of a lifetime”.

• If it seems too good to be true, it is. Scammers are sweet-talkers. They are overly nice and will try to sweet-talk seniors into taking their “deal”.

What to do when you spot a senior scam

First of all, the simplest way to avoid a scam is to educate your senior loved one before it happens.

Prevention is always much better than a cure.

Thus, an open discussion with your senior loved one about scams and why they are easy targets for them is the first step to preventing the issue.

Secondly, you can encourage your senior loved one to check with you before they enter into any agreements or contracts with companies they have never dealt with. Offer to be a “second pair of eyes” for them to protect their interest.

It is important to report the case immediately to the police.

These scammers tend to work in a series and it is likely that if they have done once, they have done it before and will do it again. When you report quickly, it increases the chances of their arrest.

Last but not least, hiring the services of a fiduciary is very helpful when it comes to elders managing their funds.

Did you find this post helpful?

Please bookmark it or share it with someone else who needs this information.